Are My Gurus Taking Advantage of Me?

I have two people’s undergrounds, which I will consider sponsor / guardian and friends today.

He was not a professor, but he was working in my department and I knew very well both of them in my four years.

I volunteered for every open home and outreach program for the school, thanked them for competitive paying jobs, and I met their families, participated in many banquets and university programs with them, and Originally expanded my network for their influence.

I am grateful for our relationship as it helped me to grow and stand in a very big and competitive program.


Fast Five Years Ahead: I am working in a very large company (> 10,000 employees worldwide) who graduates from my program, as well as organizes similar programs in other colleges. I have been promoted to my department, but I am still not basically anybody.

These mentors often come to me with the residency of students looking for internships, which I am happy to pass if they look like a good fit but I do not have to say that they get any offer. They have asked me to come back and speak in different panels and forums and volunteers programs as “a successful graduate”, but all of these programs are during work hours and I am not committed to participate in it.


When I remembered one of these email requests, the patron wrote on my Facebook wall “Are you receiving my emails?” Instead of calling, texting or private messaging I think he was calling me, but I’m not sure it was his intention. The second mentor has asked me to give the contact information of a VP in a completely separate department compared to working with him, which is not allowed per company policy and I told him so.

Then he asked me to reach him directly and asked if he would be the main speaker at the upcoming banquet. I do not have any connection with this VP than working in the same company and there is no political weight which does not make the request weird. After asking the master after asking me whether VP is available, and I really do not want it, but the best way to say it is not to think that besides “this is strange” If it was a coworker, I could not say more easily, but due to his roles in the form of a guru and sponsor I am afraid of seeing him ungrateful for his sponsorship and mentorship in the past.


I do not think any of them is malicious with these requests, but they are asking me to support those things which I can not do either logically, or to do so, in a very strange situation Will put. Are they taking advantage of my master relationship with me? Or am I taking this request personally?


A little too personally, I think, yes!

I think you are reading these requests because they really have more pressure than them.


Most of these read like very normal networking, but if you do not want to, you are not obliged to agree to it. It is OK to say that you can not participate in events during the working day, and it is OK to say that you do not have much effect in hiring (it is also OK to say that a special restart is not like the right fit Looks and to pass it completely), and it is OK to say that you have not joined adequately with that VP to request him.

But it is also OK for your contacts that you ask these things – these are all very standard requests that people can do with pre-mention / professional contacts or friends.


Generally people already know this type of request that it is possible that the answer will not be there. When you decrease you can give a devastating blow! But they are asking because they feel that you may be interested or interested;

They can not know before that time that Logistics has not worked for you. All you need to explain is that no, sorry, you can not do this.


I suspect that you were already feeling pressure in an unwanted way, and therefore your mentor’s “Are you receiving my emails?” Posting on Facebook felt like extra pressure … but I must have read that somebody has adopted the path of least resistance in trying. To contact you (or possibly technically not very sensible) Unless you know other things about this person, who express the possibility that it was an attempt to embarrass you, which was probably not intended. Mildly angry, yes, but not much.


If the request is really frequent, then it can be understood to say something, “Hey, I want to tell you that my program is just crazy, so it is difficult for me to say this kind of thing – but I’ll tell you whether it changes at some point.

Or, depending on the context, “I can start something again in a year, but generally not more than that. Send the issues which are most strong match with him are you sure that we do the job? ”


Harvilas Meena

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