My Coworker Keeps Criticizing the Way I Talk to Male Colleagues
I am a college student, currently working as an assistant in the university’s office.
There are three advisers in the office who work differently: Adam, Brenda, and Chris. I report to all of them, and I sit at the front office of the office to file a light and answer the phone. It can work at a very slow pace based on the time of year, so it is a comfortable environment.
Everyone’s “office” (cubical) are together and open together, so there is a lot of conversations back and forth, and there is no real secret.
Adam is a good boy in the mid-thirties, recently married, very silly and funny She is very entertaining, but out of the office.
Brenda, aged, widowed and very bossy. He reminds me of every busy neighbor from a movie or sitcom, and everyone else avoids it whenever possible.
Chris is a single man in his early thirties, completing his degree. His desk is close to me, and we become friendly through talks about books, movies, television etc.
Last fall, Brenda took me out into the hallway for a lecture, when he told me, “Flirting” (seen having a conversation about the movies), in which he knows that a married student.
She told me naive, that I need to pay more attention to their actions and whether someone wearing a wedding ring or not, and the student (a doctoral candidate in his late twenties) to back Will not return when I’m working in the office.
After that, he took an issue that how I treat Chris. I do not see him as a romantic interest, but as a role model; An example of this is how a person like me can end their job someday.
We chat around and make fun, and he gave me his cell phone number, so that if he is going to be in the office at lunch or some other time then I can stay in touch with him.
He has also taught me to do some of his job, because he is planning to leave in the next one or two years and he wants someone to lift the slack.
We have stories on things non-working for some time – I saw a movie which he suggested and told him what I thought, and once or twice we leave work for lunch or dinner caught together.
A few weeks ago, Brenda pulled me in another hall for another lecture. He told me that the way I am churning on Chris is unfair.
He asked whether I think it would be professional if he brings begins to tax the dean of their department, and “suggestive” way I was sitting next to him in his office the other day (I have since pulled a chair He wanted me to watch a video on his computer).
He told me that if Chris and I were friends outside the office then it is fine, but because we are not, therefore I should not try to be friendly with him at work. He commented that it was negotiating “Flrti” with a graduate student Chris the other day, and I went into his office to ask a question, and not immediately, and he made uncomfortable really, “said Chris.”
At that point, I was made hostage because I realized that Chris would have told me to talk about it. I apologized, and went back to my desk.
The next day I contacted Chris to apologize, and also to ask if he would come directly to me in the future if he has any problem, because it is abusive to be given a lecture by Brenda.
She seemed confused – she never said anything for Brenda. She does not like it, and if she does not have anything like that in which she is not involved. I am unable to believe in him, because he is a very straightforward and sometimes honest person.
I never made a romantic scene for Chris, nor did he have me now we are working together for a year, and I think if such a thing was going to develop, then it would be so far.
Apart from this, it is not that I am not starting my career here. This is a work-study task to help pay my tuition, and there is no room for progress.
I’m not sure what to do at this point, Brenda seems determined for “mother”, but I am 24 years old. Even my own mother does not even come to this extent to my life.
I do not know if I can continue this work if there is no effect on my behavior, which will be said in the question all the time.
More importantly, does he have a point?
Is it unfair to do my best after giving me my phone number for this purpose?
Should not I be friendly and try to learn from Chris because he is of the opposite sex?
Should we stop trying to have interesting conversations with him while sharing similar interests?
It does not matter to him. She is a strange and sexist and busy person, and you do not need to listen to her.
You have permission to make friends with the opposite sex.